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tenshi

november 28, 2008

1st year anniversary...

we've been through a lot...

how many break ups?

4 break ups...

but now i hope we our relationship is stronger than before...

supposed to be on december 2 its our 2nd yr anniversary...

but because of 8 months breakup...

we decided to start again...

silly fights, weak arguments, misunderstandings, lovers quarrel

im happy that we are still together...

i know that we both have different personality...

definitely opposite, but what matter is i love you and you love me...

Your not my dream guy or my ideal guy...

you become part of my life unexpectedly...

i love you inspite of your imperfection...

i love everything about you...

and i cant find any reason to get mad at you...

im sensitive i know i get pissed off easily, i got a volcanic temper

anyway sometimes, you make me cry, you hurt my feelings, i feel disappointed to you,i feel that im not so special to you...

im paranoid i know...

its just that sometimes i forgot that your not the romantic guy whom i dream of...

i know that i need to accept the fact that your not the guy the i dream of but the man that i choose to love...

anyway i love you as you are...

and i will love you always...

thanks for coming into my life...

tenshi

i am alone blogging..

but honestly i really really feel alone..

seems like special people in my life are almost gone...

i feel so alone right now...

no one knows how i feel...

could anyone can understand me?

its just not being alone that the people that you have love is far away..

what i mean is even der presence is not around...

sometimes i juz want to keep in touch..

see them once a while..

d*mn im so alone...

i need someone to cheer me up..

some on to talk, to laugh, to cry, to lean on...

alone.so alone.

tenshi

i miss him so bad....

i miss chatting with him...

i miss seeing him...

i miss all the good times...

i miss the silly fights...

i miss weak arguments with him...

but what i miss most is my boyfriend...

the love of my life..

i miss you...

i really do...

tenshi

i hope we can celebrate our monthsary together...

but unfortunately he has something to do...

diz would be the saddest monthsary ever...

i miss him so bad....

tenshi

When she stares at your mouth
[ smile...then kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit’s you
[ hug her tight ]

When she starts cursing at you
[ say i love you ]

When she’s quiet
[ hold her hand and ask what's wrong ]

When she ignores you
[ act cute so she'll notice you ]

When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ tell her you love her and she still looks amazing ]

When you see her start crying
[hold her...ask her what's wrong]

When you see her walking
[ approach her..give a kiss on the cheek. ]

When she’s scared
[assure her you're not goin to leave her ]

When she lays her head on your shoulder
[ tilt your head too..and hold her hand ]

When she steals your favorite hat
[ let her keep it]

When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok dont believe it, talk to her

- because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you:

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she’s important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
“Who’s ass am I kicking babe?”

tenshi

its very cold here...

im chilling...

i need someone whom i can hug....

where thou art mi novio?

anyway...

it us again...for the nth time LABO..LABO...

so happy...

i love you Mr. Lester DJ Mendoza..

from the bottom of my hypothalamus....lol

please dont ever let me go again...

he is already graduated in college..time for him to work...geez..lot of girls out there..lol..be a goodboy...tsk3...

btw..i miss him...

iloveu always...

tenshi

*i love diz song, but hearing it coz me pain...*

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone, 

*Boy* you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?


So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be


So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you


It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.


Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough


So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you


So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do


Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

tenshi

i need myself back and go on with my life...

i still have my family which iI consider as my life..

and my friends..

i need to move on...

it will never be easy...

but i have to..

if i keep a distance its not because i dont love him anymore...because i really do love him..

it is not because i wont miss him..because i am missing him so bad...it is not because i dont care anymore because i will always care...it is not because i dont think of him anymore because he is always in my mind..

its just because it is hurting me more seeing him that he is so near yet so far....

if i just wanted to be alone let me be...

it is because i want to heal on my own which is i know hard to do but i will try to...

tenshi

i thought when i talk to him personally and tell everything that i want to tell everything will be fine...

after talking to him last sunday it feels good in a way that i release what i kept inside..

but now id realize that it will never be fine...

its getting harder and harder..

its very tough waking up thinking of him and remind myself that everything is over and before going to sleep that it was him i am thinking of....

its hard to pretend that i am alright, that i am happy in front of others...

its hard to put fake smile on my face just to show them that im doing good...

but definitely i am not..

its hard to pretend that i am happy when deep inside i am totally broken...

its hard to move on and to accept the reality that i should go on with my life without him..

it will never be an easy thing to do...

im on my adjustment period...a very tough period of my life..

i need to get to use that no text message from him saying goodmorning, goodnight, ilove you..etc.

i need to get to use that there will be no guy who will wait me until the end of my class..a guy that will wait for me until i rode on the bus...

its just i have a lot of things to get to use to...and its very hard...

its hard to wait...

its hard to hold on a promise that i am hoping that he will never broke...

its hard when no one knows how much pain i feel inside...

its hard when i want to do something to ease the pain but somehow i cant do anything...